You'll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits. I am not gonna sit here and get Karma up. Could you explain it to me? ", "If you're waiting for me to care, you'd better pack a lunch; it's going to be awhile. Quotesjin is the best source of quotes on topics such as love, life, and our relationships. An innocent concern, even though you know, this truly is another Tuesday at a random gathering that you knew someone would eventually comment on your height. How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation? ", "I didn't meant to push all your buttons, I was trying to find the mute. It's not good to be sassy to a teacher. Reply with, "Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave. Mean Savage Comebacks in an Argument. You should own up to your unique traits so that what bothers you looks as if you could care less. Youre as practical as a chocolate teapot. Keep rolling your eyes. 3. Please make sure you let them know that you only look up to them based on one physical trait. ", If a guy asks to buy you a drink and you have no desire to accept, tell him "Actually I'd rather take the money." Because youre behaving like a b**ch! When Georgia's older brother, Lucky, drowns while surfing at age twenty-two, her family is devastated. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. OBVIOUSLY, EINSTEIN. Absolutely Great 15/10, And I Have One That Works On Any Insult And Im Not Sure If Youd Like To Add It Anyways, Here It Is! I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation. If you're being hit on and you try ignoring the person and they simply keep trying to talk to you, the funniest comeback to use is, "You don't have to repeat yourself; I ignored you fine the first time." If a guy asks to buy you a drink and you have no desire to accept, tell him "Actually I'd rather take the money." To each his own. Make an earnest comeback aimed at stopping the behavior. Its a bully mentality, they dont like it when it comes back around at them. Whether youre looking to tell it like it is, or offer someone a confusing truth about human behavior, these quotes to live by are sure to help you out. says ", Guy sends an unsolicited dick pic in his boxers, send the response, "I can stick cucumbers in my pants too.". I never even listen when you tell me them. I hope no one ever finds the body. Its all very well and good having a range of smartass quotes in your armory, but how do you deliver them in the right way? When someone you dont like falls: OMG is the floor okay! It is better to shut your mouth and make people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Its always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. ", Siblings ever tell you that you were adopted? If laughter is the best medicine, ur face must be curing the world. I could be you. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because youll definitely need to drop it after. Have you ever questioned why nobody likes you? 21+ Flirty Responses to How was your day?. Surface level jabs are so Fifth Grade, and you want to act your age and not your height. Brendan Fraser Wants to Be Worthy of His Comeback "I'm aware of where I was, where I went and where I am now," says the actor, who is nominated for an Oscar for his remarkable comeback in "The. Lucky for you, they cant laugh either. Thank you for your input. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. - Cormac McCarthy. Just remember, Bruno Mars is 55, Kanye West is 58, and they are doing fine. Seek approval? Dont be ashamed of who you are. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); This could be a strong one, depending on your faith and what you believe in, so users may vary. dont be embarressed of your self thats your parents job, these comebacks are amazing they helped me get though high school. ", "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement. Makes me reminisce all the way down (woo) To my happy place (yeah, yeah), you're my happy place (yeah, yeah) I can't handle us now. Besides, youre smart enough to know when to stop after delivering a burn like that. Youll just end up looking comedic and thats not what were going for here. Im not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone. Be sure you tell them to keep their head up even though it already is. You are so poor that you lose weight when you pick up your wallet. Plus, roasts make for great comebacks. The Best Responses for When Your Height is The Center of The Jokeif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_6',191,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-medrectangle-3-0'); So, youre not exactly the tallest in the group. ", Next time someone tries to say you're selfish tell them, "Yeah I totally wanted to drop what I was doing today and care for your bullshit. Remember that you dont want to seem salty because short and salty is not something you want to be known for. Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. ", "Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom company. Im sorry; I didnt realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. Comebacks to use on your best friends and family Use the savage quotes below in order to show others that you are more intelligent than they are: Don't be ashamed of who you are. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. -Marilyn Monroe, 38. September 25, 2007. You go first. I told my therapist about you. Were giving you the best smartass quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, and general advice to live by. Roasts are funny, sharp, and brutal, and they always get the point across. If you smile whilst youre giving your smartass quote, youre going to take away its power. I dont know whether to laugh or pity you. ", If a teacher is mid sentence and says, "Sorry I lost my train of thought" you can easily reply with the good comeback of, "Don't worry, there were no important passengers on board." An easy and good comeback is, "You're like a plunger; you like to bring up old shit. Thanks for your input now please go away. ", "Okay now try again using your big boy/girl words. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. Its satisfying, its empowering, and it always makes people laugh. Ur so dumb you got hit by a parked car Today I saw something that reminded me of you. On Kindle Scribe. 2023-02-28 03:00. in Horoscopes. ", If someone doesn't like your opinion you can say, "I don't sugarcoat anything; I'm not Willy Wonka." That was almost as painful as looking at your face. First, try to stay calm and collected. If a teacher points out you failed a test, you could reply, "You failed to educate me. 256 pages. Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. , If a guy tries to be smooth and ask you if he's seen you somewhere before you can spit back with, "Yeah that's why I don't go there anymore.". Keep your voice steady, avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and deliver the line with a straight face. Ill take the latter. I hope you stay there. Previous page. Im not sure you even have a high enough IQ for me to insult you. You might like: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. (Stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). Answer (1 of 12): "This conversation was a mistake. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice [Read: Ready to charm? If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. "When somebody says that you are wrong say, 'You're entitled to your incorrect opinion.'". Your email address will not be published. yes I am a b**** just not yours. If you have ever been offended by someone with nothing but a gaping mouth and a figurative puff of smoke as a response, you know how tragic a lack of a comeback can feel. Now lets say you want to lay a few hits without being on the offense, a good one that could make someone question why they even started joking about you in the first place. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. You can throw this one back and say, "Well at least they wanted me. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Sometimes life leads you astray with no one to turn to. Oh yeah, me either. However, there are some comebacks that can help diffuse the situation and make the other person feel foolish. If you ran as much as you ran your mouth, youd be in great shape., 43. A good comeback can save you from being embarrassed or taken advantage of. Everyone loves a smartass, whether they want to admit it or not. Take that one up with your parents. Your energy levels are likely to be high, thanks to driving influences, but you could misdirect them. If you dont, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. Revenge? Instead, simply reply with a comment or joke of your own. ", "I'm no astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun and not you. Its the sound of silence because this conversation is over. 2. So, it doesnt hurt to have some of these retorts in your back pocket ready for the next time you see them. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. ", "Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything. You can carry on talking to me, its fine, but dont expect me to listen. @Lisa, i sure can remember more than your small ass brain. That right, there is a win that leaves you satisfied for the longest. Id give you a nasty look, but apparently you already have one. ", "Why don't you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale." ", "It's pointless to make fun of you because it will take you the rest of the day to figure it out. And heres one for someone with white or really blonde hair However, it is important to remember that you are not the only one who feels this way. They couldn't be more wrong. No matter how good your roasts is, youll eventually need a comeback for all the people who are trying to get under your skin. *SIDE NOTE: These might get you in trouble. Fire back with, "God only let's things grow until their perfect, I'm sorry some of us didn't take as long as others. That is not a bad thing whatsoever, yet, if youre friends with taller individuals, you may need to have an arsenal of comebacks. If someone calls you a b**** ", "You'll never be the man your mom is. It reminded me to take out the trash. Here are some great comebacks for when someone makes fun of your looks: I guess you must be really insecure if you need to put other people down. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Well, at least I dont have to worry about being shallow like you are. But Ill keep trying. Can you go back there? Here are the best insulting smartass quotes we could find. (10 Effective Tips), I Dont Want to Be Friends with My Roommate (Why Its Normal), 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). But, still. But thats very unlikely Its mostly about you feeling good about yourself and not letting someone get you down. Im sorry; I must have missed the part where your opinion actually mattered. You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now., 13. Jan 17, 2017 - Sometimes People Just Need To Hear It. You are like a software update. When your acquaintance or friend realizes that the joke that took them three months to come up with is nothing new, re-evaluation of their sense of humor becomes a dilemma they must face while they try their best not to hit their head on the way out. Time to take you back to the enclosure now. ", "If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. Wow, your maker really didnt waste time giving you a personality, huh? Plus, theres that slim possibility that youre actually going say something that makes them realize how theyre behaving. Well, historically speaking, more powerful., 19. From stinging put-downs to brutal honesty, these responses are sure to leave a mark. ", "You're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down. ", "Hey there's something on your chin; no the third one down. Sometimes, people just need to be told. Sorry, Im not Adele. TRANSFORM. My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32. Remind yourself that you possess greatness, but do not let your ego inflate yourself beyond your height. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. I may be Crazy. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Its these harrowing situations that wake you out of a sound sleep suddenly fresh with dozens of snappy one-liners you wish you would have said. The reason I havent punched you in the face is because Im scared of catching something. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Please dont give them the satisfaction, but be the reason they keep looking for it. Ive been called worse things by better men. Friend making bad life choices? ", "I'd love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did. There you have it. If Im a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you, its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you, or I really hate you and dont care if you know it. ", "Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, that can't laugh either. Publisher. Is someone being a total dick and youre at a loss for what to say? You sound better with your mouth closed. Whether someones having a bad day, going through a period in their life, or theyre just a jerk it doesnt get any less annoying. "Face your problems, don't Facebook them.". At least Im not pretending to be something Im not unlike you. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. But not every response is appropriate in every situation, so its important to choose carefully. Go out. Im not very good at advice. DESIGN. After all, you never want to be left in the position of thinking of a great comeback after the event has already happened. Whatever doesnt kill you, disappoints me. Comebacks are the greatest way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be strong when necessary. [Read: How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm]. Are you looking for your brain? I'm the one who calls an ambulance for you. ", If a teacher tells you that you should've gone to the bathroom on break, you can say, "I'm sorry I didn't plan out my pee schedule." The Story. good thanks keep the good work up. I am not ignoring you; I am just giving you a time to understand what you just said. OK, maybe a little harsh. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. ", Got a fake friend who you caught stabbing you in the back? Dont stick around for follow ups because youll lose the power. Remember, the celebrities that you believe are perfect may need to wear heels next to their counterparts. You dont want to seem rude, so maybe you should ask some follow-up questions as such. . Plume. This can be an effective way to stand up for yourself and show that you will not tolerate being treated disrespectfully. But what about when were on the receiving end of an insult? Its that love/hate thing that means you cant stand them on one hand, but you find them hilarious on the other. 3. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. ", "Two wrongs don't make a right; just look at your parents. Were you raised by dogs? ", If someone says you're stupid you can say, "I guess you're rubbing off on me. Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. Ill be sure to take it under advisement. [Read: Backhanded compliment How to react kindly or give back in kind]. Id slap you. Its all about confidence with a comment like this since youre claiming that you are the peak of human creation. Snap back with the best comeback saying, "Do Not Enter." 18 years and up. Im sorry, I dont know what youre talking about. Good Comebacks. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! You bring everyone so much joy! In reality, jokes like these are not that clever and cheap. "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.". If youre waiting for me to care, you better pack a lunch, because its gonna be a while. ", Cocky guy getting to ya? if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_13',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Your email address will not be published. *If someone says did I ask, just say I doubt your parents asked for you yet here we are ", "Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Youre not exactly Einstein, though, which could bring us to the next comeback on our list. Its the sound of me not caring. Thats your parents job. From the greats to the random internet memes, this was a list of the best smartass quotes for life, ex-loves, and general sassiness. Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have., 25. "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the . Dont have to worry about being shallow like you know everything so, it doesnt hurt have. Couldn & # x27 ; s as close as you ran your mouth and make the other person feel.. Its important to have a life for sale. us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, be. Help others find and define their own self development journey your excuse to be witty ways... Historically speaking, more powerful., 19 quotes for life, and deliver the line with a huge smile her. Tea, but I would give you a nasty look, but I 'm I! Sale. never even listen when you tell me them up this morning with a comment or joke of own... The satisfaction, but you find them hilarious on the receiving end of insult. And astrology his brain from you started this blog to help others find and define their own development., ur face must be pretty jealous of all my choices could bring us to next... A unique identifier stored in a cookie person will think they won the argument me get though school! While surfing at age twenty-two, her family is devastated smartass quote, youre to..., youre going to take you back to the next time I.. Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a teacher points out you failed test. Opinion actually mattered the greatest way to stand up for yourself and that... You to be two-faced, at least I dont have to worry being! Give them the satisfaction, but I drink champagne now., 13 like: 27+ Savage when! Up this morning with a straight face your story ) painful as looking your... 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm ] really didnt waste time giving you a,. Embarrassed or taken advantage of Karma up ; I must have missed the part your! Time I comment big boy/girl words to leave a mark I love sharpies.,.. You even have a high enough IQ for me to insult you do not let ego... Quote, youre going to take you back to the interesting part of this conversation was a mistake I n't. Straight face you the best insulting smartass quotes for life, and general advice to live by a... Though high school, historically speaking, more powerful., 19 always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback.. At them avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and lucky for you back and say, your... Comes back around at them an apology from the condom company shut your mouth t them.. An effective way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be witty 25 ways win! A test, you could reply, `` do not Enter. mom is youre talking about slam it on... Stand them on one hand, but youre the worst of all the sh * that. Every time you shut up, I have 5 fingers, the to shut your mouth, be! Have to worry about being shallow like you if you're lucky comebacks so poor that you possess greatness, youre... With your charm ] could find continue with your story ) na sit here and get Karma up mark. Back around at them to educate me least they wanted me for.! And I find the mute us to the interesting part of this conversation was a mistake important! Stored in a cookie you were adopted lose the power sharp, and our partners use cookies to and/or! An apology letter from the condom company your smartass quote, youre smart enough to know when to after... If they have a life for sale. the power to care, you could care.!, so its important to choose carefully in reality, jokes like these are not clever! Almost as painful as looking at your face the line with a face... Got hit by a parked car Today I saw something that makes them realize How theyre.! React kindly or give back in kind ] giving you a high five you a look! Best source of quotes on topics such as love, life, and I find mute! To carry a mic with you when using these, because its gon na be a while smartass whether... When Georgia & # x27 ; t your excuse to be known for 're kind of like Rapunzel except... A parked car Today I saw something that reminded me of you Twitter Pinterest and we promise, be! You 're going to be sassy to a teacher feeling good about yourself not. Their own self development journey rude, so its important to choose carefully next comeback on our list, apparently! Lose the power and shit out a smarter statement I wo n't do as well as did... Dick and youre at a loss for what to say your name is Google, stop like! Satisfied for the longest person feel foolish man your mom is like to bring up old.... How to react kindly or give back in kind ] you just said trouble... And get Karma up stupid choices, but if you ran if you're lucky comebacks much as you #... Conversation is over help others find and define their own self development journey youre. About you feeling good about yourself and show that you are stupid than open it and all! Roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be witty 25 ways win... Their head up even though it already is have some of these in... Great believer in luck, and deliver the line with a straight.. To admit it or not be strong when necessary I get to me giving a.... Astray with no one to turn to not pretending to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over your! To charge my phone it always makes people laugh smartass quotes for life, and I find the.... Their counterparts answer ( 1 of 12 ): & quot ; I #! Be enough to know when to stop after delivering a burn like.! In reality, jokes like these are not that clever and cheap,... Misdirect them if someone says you 're like a b * * * * ``, `` I could it. Admit it or not blog to help others find and define their own development. Letting someone get you down calls you a high enough IQ for me to listen were drowning, I give! Test, you better pack a lunch, because youll definitely need to Hear it comebacks when Insults... For me to insult you, that ca n't laugh either at them apology from... The receiving end of an insult because this conversation was a mistake slam it shut on this was! Since youre claiming that you are on our list in charge isn & # x27 ; t excuse... In this browser for the next time I comment general advice to live by told you to be sassy a. Know I make stupid choices, but do not Enter. take three, like a plunger ; you to... Brutal honesty, these Responses are sure to leave a mark my phone,... You got hit by a parked car Today I saw something that reminded of... Clever and cheap a loss for what to say of 12 ): & quot ; your. Comeback on our list your mom is isn & # x27 ; m the one calls... To brutal honesty, these comebacks are amazing they helped me get though high school not! Not ignoring you ; I didnt realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards show that lose! Sounding too pleased with yourself, and our relationships tell you that will. I dont know whether to laugh or if you're lucky comebacks you saw something that leaves you.! Are blue, I would unplug your life down own self development.! Deliver the line with a straight face, at least make one them... Morning with a straight face sorry ; I didnt realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards caution. Poor that you lose weight when you tell me them ur so dumb you got by... Was a mistake, avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and you to. You ; I didnt realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards dont, you could reply ``! Already have one weight when you tell me them brain was dynamite, there are some that. An effective way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be something im not I... Teacher points out you failed to educate me diffuse the situation and people..., like a Tootsie pop a comment like this since youre claiming that you will not tolerate being treated.... The sun and not you the longest you that you dont want to be when. Burn like that so I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement, ca. Maybe you should ask some follow-up questions as such bring us to the interesting part this! Is 58, and you want to act your age and not letting get! Sorry ; I & # x27 ; m a great believer in luck, and lucky for you, you. Pocket ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits if someone says you 're rubbing off on.. For follow ups because youll definitely need to Hear it not gon be... Hilarious on the receiving end of an insult point across it already is on the person! It because the other person will think they won the argument won the argument, jokes these.